Last weekend I completed my first 5K. It was the culmination of a years-long spiral that began the day I turned 30. That’s when all my baser desires were replaced by an anxious instinct of self-preservation, and the watershed blood pressure reading kicked me into gear. . If I want to improve my chances of living a successful life, at least in the classical sense, I need to step out of my comfort zone and idle on the rain-slicked asphalt of Prospect Park on a dark, cloudy morning. right. I ran three 10-minute miles and worked towards fitness.
I was almost disappointed in how much I liked the experience. It gives me no pleasure to report that all the clichés about running are true. Beyond the pain in your joints and muscles, the lucid feeling of sublime determination as your mind floats into the mesmerizing vastness of the sky is better than most drugs. The same goes for the tingling of anticipation at the starting line or the glorious wave of blissful pain that shoots down your legs after you hit the homestretch. Surrounded by paper cups of lukewarm Gatorade and a gaggle of cheering friends, perhaps with screens, but with a printed T-shirt to prove your accomplishments. Best of all, perhaps, is the wild hunger for what’s next. more Once you officially get your 5K. Can I do half sea next time? Will I be one of those in the New York City Marathon lottery? How many more loved ones can I hit with my travel inspiration?
In other words, I’m starting to become an annoying running guy. This is a cultural trait that I have despised all my life. Do you know who I’m talking about? People who take screenshots of marginal circuits and post them on Instagram on Tuesday mornings while you’re still rotting in bed. (“Run Club Rule No. 1: Always talk about running,” one Reddit user quipped, sharing his frustration with the culture.) A friend who always dresses up in high-performance latex every weekend We bought Nike at his store with a fetish feeling. (The New York Times ran a whole article about the excesses of “athletic dresses.”) Or how you can spend hours talking about your latest lap times, shamelessly comparing your exhilarating day at the track. An “athlete” who can. It has a divine tone, reminiscent of Joan of Arc, and is a tone often associated with Olympic medalists. (Would you be interested in the $27 hardcover version? Running is my therapy?)
There’s nothing more disgusting than someone who has allowed a run to take over every aspect of their personality. I’m dangerously close to losing myself to a cult. It’s up to me, and me alone, to pull myself up before it’s too late.
Meg Takacs, a running coach and fitness writer from Colorado, has a few theories as to why running tends to interfere with interpersonal etiquette. First, and most importantly, if you decide to become a runner in 2023, you’ll undoubtedly be introduced to a whole network of gadgets and apps that offer an array of biometric authentication, including Garmin, Strava, and Nike Run Club. It means that it becomes. Sends data (cadence, distance, heart rate) directly to your smartphone. These statistics are addictive and will help you adjust your training plan towards the right pace. So, naturally, when Strava lets a new runner know in the last mile that he’s finally broken the 9-minute barrier, he shares that news over and over again to his vague audience on all his social feeds. You will be forced to do so.
“When you feel a sense of accomplishment, you want to talk about it, show it off, and enjoy it,” Takacus said. “I think these things stimulate endorphins in our heads.”
This solipsism is leveled bad If you’ve recently suffered a training injury, she added. There’s nothing runners love more than discussing the various symptoms of tendonitis. Because that’s the only place where you can get sympathy and athlete envy at the same time. “We joke about elderly relatives being sick, but I promise you that if you put a group of runners together in a room, it would be a thousand times worse,” Takacus continued. As someone who injured my knee two weeks into running, I can attest that my lovely fiancé told me in no uncertain terms that we should stop talking about it. There was a strangely decadent dignity to sports recovery, and I selfishly sipped every drop.
But frankly, the biggest reason why fitness of any kind brings out the worst in us is when we interact with our peers. The fundamental truth is that it must be done with resolute discipline. really hard, but really difficult doesn’t necessarily mean provocative. Successful marathon preparation involves letting yourself fall into the depths and making sure everything is—all— framed through the prism of fitness. Therein lies the problem, argues longtime fitness blogger Hamilton Nolan. Once you get stuck in the quagmire, you can lose the ability to discern what is fertile colloquialism and what is not. The only solution, he says, is a moderate amount of ego death.
“A good way to maintain a healthy perspective on running is to think of it not as something interesting in itself, but as a form of training for something more interesting,” Nolan explained. “If you step back from your running obsession for a moment and think about it honestly, it’s a repetitive movement that happens over and over again. If you want to discuss running in multiple sentences, find someone to run with.
“This is one reason why it’s healthier to think of working out less as a social activity and more as a deep, dark journey into a nameless black hole within yourself,” he continued. . “On a journey into a black hole, there will be less conversation. This is something we all must aspire to.”
Mr. Takacus basically offered me the same advice. All runners can say unpleasant things about their hobbies, but more socially adept runners are more likely to unleash the depth of their fitness enthusiasm only in front of others who are on the same page. I learned. If you find a well-run group chat or join a local community of hard-working people, you’ve created a safe place to be the most annoying version of yourself. Yes, she added. New runners strive towards their dreams.
Still, after absorbing hundreds of running-flavored posts full of long captions discussing glycogen storage and shin splint rehabilitation, Takacus told me that he muted his Instagram page and politely unfollowed him. He said he has many friends who have done so. She’s just, in her words, “sick of her own shit.” Takacus completely understands where they’re coming from, but she hasn’t slowed down one bit.
“My advice is to accept the stage you’re in and don’t take anything personal,” she said. “If you want to train hard for something, mental health is just as important as physical health.”
I find Takacs’ conclusion oddly liberating. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I should just embrace my inner nastiness during this heroic aerobic adventure. One of the first things you learn about running is that you can only progress by surrendering to the pain. I think it’s the same thing that hobbies can distort the mind. I’m going to be in the best shape of my life heading into next summer’s half marathon, evolving into both my best and worst self. Meanwhile, he tries to alienate all his friends by derailing the conversation to the topic of “negative breakups.” Many times at the bar.I’m becoming an annoying running guy and as much as it pains me to admit it, I rarely am I’m happier.