Just as idling cars pollute the environment with harmful pollution, so do complaints while idling.
We often encounter many frustrations in our daily lives. Many of these situations seem beyond our control. What should I do?
we complain. We do it often unconsciously. We complain about the weather, our spouses, and our children. We complain about our looks, our colleagues, our jobs. We complain about health and the economy. We complain about other people’s actions, bad service, bad drivers, world conditions, politics.
![The Oshkosh Civilization Project poster depicts nine tools of civility.](https://www.thenorthwestern.com/gcdn/-mm-/a824c1a02db53de910027a56f1c9ffd84735772d/c=521-0-2383-2481/local/-/media/Oshkosh/2014/08/21/-gpgbrd02-09-2013advocate1a00220130208img-dca0209civility211.jpg?width=300&height=400&fit=crop&format=pjpg&auto=webp)
Poet Laureate Randall Harrell once said: “People living in a golden age always complain that everything looks yellow.”
Useless complaining is harmful. They are passive and do not come up with solutions.
Complaining disturbs the peaceful sanctuary of the home and undermines family relationships. It permeates our workplaces and schools, destroying morale, job satisfaction, and productivity.
Complaining is insidious and destructive to our social circles, churches, and communities. It has infected television and radio airwaves and has a strong presence on social media.
Complaining is harmful to our own mental, emotional, and physical health. We spread it to others. Complaining takes away our energy and our will to live.
Complaining is a very negative force in all our interpersonal relationships. This is why Prime Minister Forni listed “stopping idle complaining” as one of his 25 points of civility.
How can we stop pollution? The first step is awareness. Try wearing a bracelet or elastic band on one wrist, and if you’re not happy with it, try wearing it on the other wrist.
Then ask yourself, “Can I do something constructive to improve the situation?” If not, ask yourself how you can make peace with it and let it go.
Third, forget about yourself and focus on others instead. When we complain, we are not looking beyond our own noses.
Finally, choose gratitude instead. Gratitude is the ultimate antidote to complaining. No matter your situation, if you look hard enough, there is always something to be grateful for. Gratitude enhances our emotional state, perspective, and behavior. It’s also contagious.
In the new year, let’s all renew our resolutions and take on the challenge of “fasting from complaints” to reduce environmental pollution. Express your gratitude instead. “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the greatest gratitude is not in saying words, but in living them.” – John F. Kennedy
Jessica Zaborsky is a core team member of the Oshkosh Civility Project. Additional information is available at her OshkoshCivilityProject.org. Her financial support can be sent to the Oshkosh Area Community Foundation and is appreciated and marked “Civility Project” in her memo line.