My whole life, I’ve been treated as if I have issues common to more typical neurotypicals: I think in words, I’m comfortable reading and writing, I’m a do-it-yourselfer with a healthy social life, and I find it fairly easy to manage my attention span.
–Anna L., an adult diagnosed with a nonverbal learning disability
Imagine excelling in debate club, but feeling anxious when asked to set the dinner table. Imagine being able to express complex ideas well, but struggling with “visual aids.” Now imagine everyone you know telling you you must struggle with language. The rest is undoubtedly a breeze.
This is the reality for many people with Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NVLD), one of the most misunderstood neurodevelopmental disorders.
The term “difference” reflects the neurodiverse community's preference for diversity-focused language over deficit-focused terms such as “disability” or “impairment.” Many adults diagnosed with NVLD also prefer identity-first language: NVLDer. And while language around difference for neurodiverse people is complex, NVLD comes with unique challenges as misunderstandings are frequent.
Those with some familiarity with neurodiversity differences often assume that what we know about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), autism, or dyslexia generally also applies to NVLD, but this is not the case.
Even among the more well-studied neurodiversity categories, individual experiences vary widely. And that's before we even consider intersectional differences. Misunderstandings and misinformation are all too common when it comes to rarely discussed differences like NVLD. This became evident when Gus Waltz, the son of Minnesota Governor and 2024 Vice Presidential candidate Tim Waltz, brought NVLD into the spotlight with media and public attention. When Gus' parents revealed that Gus had NVLD (in addition to ADHD and anxiety disorders), many confused non-verbal and non-speech, NVLD with other neurodiversities such as autism.
Unfortunately, such confusion is not uncommon; many people with NVLD have experienced the effects of common misconceptions about this difference in their own lives. In this article, we integrate real-life examples of NVLD with academic research to address some of the most common misconceptions.
In my book, Anna L., an expert on NVLD, shares her experiences and the distress caused by stereotypes and overgeneralizations about her neurodevelopmental disorder. Canary Code: A guide to neurodiversity, dignity, and intersectional belonging in the workplace:
They were told to learn visually or by doing, when they should have learned verbally. This left them confused and made it hard to go back and relearn the process after learning it the wrong way.
I have been labeled as having problems with cognitive empathy, when in fact I have the skills to do so. This label, and the constant feeling of not being as empathetic as others, has left me feeling like I am less important than others, which has led me to prioritize others too often, which has been detrimental to me.
This represents a common problem with NVLD: dealing with misunderstandings of others. Here we will focus on the most prominent of these false assumptions.
1. What is NVLD? do not have Language Difficulties
The term “non-verbal” is misleading; NVLD actually refers to task difficulty. Apart from language, On the other hand, language is often a strength for people with NVLD, and their areas of challenge might include visuospatial tasks, emotion regulation, or motor coordination.
In Anna L.'s story, which wasn't included in my book, she struggled with the expectation that as a manager she would have to help prepare and host Thanksgiving dinner. Her coworkers and even her therapist misunderstood her anxieties.
When I expressed to my therapist how stressed I was about having to emcee this event, she began to assume I had crowd and social anxiety. No, I enjoy that part of it.
I felt insecure about my spatial awareness, my fine motor skills, my ability to decorate and prepare food, and I was also slower than most people when it came to washing dishes.
After I explained my challenges, the therapist didn't know what to say. I was scared that making my struggles public would damage my reputation as a manager. I didn't know how to deal with the challenges, and my therapist didn't seem to know how to help me. So I just jumped in and hoped it wouldn't negatively impact my career.
I remember getting some funny looks from my fellow manager as I struggled to cut into a brownie.
2. NVLD is do not have Confused with autism
As Anna's story illustrates, what may appear to be social challenges may actually reflect difficulties with motor tasks rather than struggles with the social aspects of relationship building. Many people with NVLD are highly adept at purely social tasks, but do not understand that in the neurotypical world, common social situations and activities have visuospatial and motor barriers to participation, from navigating unfamiliar spaces to participating in crafts or cooking. These may also be barriers for some autistic people, but NVLD do not share the struggles with social barriers such as small talk, expectations of eye contact, or feelings of overwhelm caused by noisy spaces that can negatively impact the social experiences of people with autism.
In Anna's case, people also assumed a need for structure, a common assumption about people with autism but not true for everyone.
Despite my significant fine motor and spatial difficulties, I was pushed into high school to become a dental hygienist because “I'd know what was expected of me,” when I didn't really need that structure. (I was lucky, through my high school's career guidance department, to get a job as a dental assistant at a dental practice that had hired a high school student as a dental assistant a year before me. I say lucky because I got fired due to my fine motor and spatial difficulties…so I didn't end up going to dental hygiene school.)
3. NVLD is do not have Confusing with ADHD
While many neurodiversity symptoms overlap and coexist, typical NVLD symptoms do not include attention, although difficulties with emotion processing may resemble ADHD. Her lack of attention was another thing people mistakenly assumed about Anna.
Anna's experience vividly illustrates the complexity of NVLD and the role of stereotypes as barriers to success and wellbeing. As with other forms of neurodiversity, focusing on an individual's pattern of strengths, needs and challenges is key to helping people build on their strengths and thrive in their own unique way.