Now, before you clutch your pearls and purse your lips like you’re sucking a daiquiri through a straw, let me preface this entire story with this. I’m an environmental activist and I don’t think humans are taking care of the earth. I also participate in almost anything that can help protect the Earth and life forms on it (like us). I like being here, even though some of my peers consider the He Third Rock from the Sun to be a personal trash can. You see, I care about the environment. But I don’t think paper straws make us “green”. I think they are frustrated.
A few friends and I had this exact conversation just a few days ago. We were eating at a restaurant in downtown Owensboro (which I won’t name) and our server handed us a paper straw. Well, MKat and his friend’s Mercedes had downed a few beers so we just had to deal with the straws in the water. I was drinking water and lemonade, and both had those horrible paper straws in them.
Usually I don’t like straws at all. Even if it’s a plastic straw. Usually the first thing I do when I’m given a present is return it, or if it’s already shoved inside the glass, take it out and put it out of the way on the table. . But somehow, on this particular day, after I actually took a sip of lemonade through a straw, I realized it was paper. Wow!! After the second sip, the straw was already damp and sticky, which made me feel gross and nervous.
Guys, why are we doing this? As I said before, I’m dedicated to saving the planet. I’m basically a bearded Earth Day fan. But I doubt that drinking lemonade through a paper straw, crossing the street, and igniting a gasoline-powered Fusion named Fred actually implements and solves the conservation equation. And are paper straws really safe and effective?
Do what I did! Type this into Google. Type “Are paper straws really good for the environment?” Read the first few articles that appear. You get it! After all, they may be completely useless.
You may have seen recent statistics on the number of plastic straws Americans use. The amount is estimated to be about 500 million pieces every day. Now, according to the New York Times, that estimate comes from children as young as 9 years old. Let me say this. Being our version of Greta Thunberg gives kids extra power, but industry experts say that number is incredibly exaggerated. According to the Times, that number sits somewhere between 170 million and 390 million people, which is still a staggering number.
However, after checking several different articles and sources online during my Google research, it appears that paper straws have their own problems. Chemicals can get into your drink. Huh, what? And get this! In some cases, they may not even biodegrade.
If so, why was I sitting in a restaurant sucking Minute Maid lemonade from a disgusting, uncomfortable, wet, limp paper straw with the charm of a catheter? No, thanks!
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