Dear Coach Waltz,
Please take our Nebraska jokes with humor and respect. Colorado actually loves Nebraska. We cheered for your home state when Nebraska fought to abolish slavery. We love our northeastern neighbor and all that we have in common.
In the late 1970s, our Colorado College men's basketball team drove through the snow to play a little college in Nebraska. In the 45 years since then, I have never spent a single vacation day or night in Nebraska. But that all changed when Vice President Kamala Harris selected you as her running mate.
I took two separate trips to Nebraska in your honor, and the trips were so much fun, filled with new sights, sounds, and foods.
Dear neighbor, thank you for your service. People who help children are the best. You spent most of your 24 years in the Army training young people.
You have served Minnesota voters tirelessly as a public servant for 20 years, and you have not amassed wealth for yourself, but rather raised a loving family.
My heart nearly burst when 17-year-old Gus Waltz stood, proudly pointed at you, and exclaimed, “That's my dad!” When I feel like crying my eyes out, I will relive that precious, unrehearsed moment between a loving son and his father.
You expertly embraced Harris' natural happiness and made joy a central theme of the Harris-Waltz campaign. Shyamala Harris was a wonderful mother to Kamala, but Kamala had no brothers and was estranged from her father.
You fill that role right away — for Kamala and for those of us who miss our father and brother. Kamala is tough enough that he doesn't need a defender, but we all need guys up front, and no bully stands a chance against a tough Army sergeant with the football mind of a championship defensive coordinator.
We were so happy when you called MAGA weird and said we don't need to be afraid. I was thrilled when Harris picked you. That adorable video you did with your daughter Hope convinced me. Your interview with Ezra Klein convinced me. And so did my research on your background.
Shortly after you were elected on August 5th, I suddenly found myself longing for a road trip to your home state of Nebraska and maybe Minnesota. I arrived at Fort Cody on North Platte when you performed your opening stemwinder in Philadelphia on August 6th, and honked my horn when you explained Minnesota's golden rule: “Do your own thing.” Colorado and Nebraska lay claim to Buffalo Bill Cody.
The next day, I hopped on my bike and explored the stunning downtown of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, listening to a Harris Waltz rally in Detroit. By nightfall, I found lodging and dinner in Luverne, Minnesota, and drove home the next day. My first Waltz tour was fun, but incomplete.
There was still so much to see and eat. Listening to the August 17th rally in Omaha, I realized I hadn't eaten at Lanza, hadn't seen the Niobrara River, or this mysterious art exhibit called Carhenge.
I learned about your 10 years of adventures on the Denver side of Nebraska. Alliance and Chadron are also in the Rocky Mountains. I took my second trip to Nebraska this week. Carhenge was awesome, but the Niobrara River was too small to raft across. That might require a future trip to your teenage hometown of Valentine.
This week's Walz tour included three stops at Runza's, your beloved restaurant has expanded into Colorado to further solidify the Nebraska-Colorado connection, and Longmont Runza was my first stop on the way to Alliance.
The cheese lanza was bland by Colorado standards. The only condiments available were ketchup and mayonnaise. The waitress gave me a funny look when I asked if they had Tabasco. She was kind enough to give me some Southwest sauce, which tasted like a mix of mayonnaise and ketchup.
My next run was in your hometown of Alliance, where I enjoyed some delicious Frings and a medium mint deluxe shake before watching a nearby high school football practice. I tee off first thing Tuesday morning at Sky View Golf Course in Alliance, where you play a lot, I know.
Lunch at Lanza's was 34 miles from Alliance to Chadron. We took full advantage of the 75-cent hamburger sale on a Tuesday in August. Lanza's crinkle fries and a soda were included in the package. In honor of you and Shady Vance, we sipped on multiple refills of Diet Mountain Dew.
Your alma mater, Chadron State, was a Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference school for a long time, and while you taught at Alliance High School, you and your wife, Gwen, lived in the suburbs of Denver and had TV and radio stations on the air, so we bet you love the Broncos!
We bought a ton of Eagles merchandise at Chadron State Bookstore before heading north to explore Wind Cave National Park and Jewel Cave National Monument. Next we went to Mount Rushmore and Rapid City. Tell Kamala there's room for her face next to Abe's.
No other Colorado politician has ever held such high office as you have. Remember, the plains of Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming and Nebraska stretch all the way to the Front Range of Colorado. All of your neighbors are counting on you. We thank you and your Nebraska roots.
Your neighbor,
Craig
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