vinegarSocial media is a strange place. On the one hand, it can be a dark mass, spiteful and relentlessly toxic. On the other, it can act as the glue that connects us to new communities, old friends, and family we'd almost forgotten. Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and seeing milestone moments from decades ago can bring back a wave of nostalgia; a gentle reminder of life's simple preciousness.
That's why it makes perfect sense that, by one estimate, 42% of UK parents share photos of their children online. Of those, more than 50% share these photos at least once a month. According to a 2018 report by the Children's Commissioner, parents share approximately 71 photos and 29 videos of their children on social media each year. On average, by the time a child turns 13, parents will have posted 1,300 photos and videos of their child on social media.
I used to be that way, too. My son was born in 2015, and as a new mom, I wanted to let everyone know about my amazing new life. I posted photos of my son sleeping soundly, neatly swaddled in his crib. I posted photos of him looking out the window and admiring his first snowfall. I posted photos of us sitting together on a swing in a beautiful London park. I gave my friends and family the opportunity to watch my son grow up.
But after a few years of regular sharing, I stumbled across a Child Rescue Coalition campaign that caused me to seriously rethink things. I began to question how much of my son's life should be documented and readily available to everyone. Their “Kids for Privacy” campaign was a stark reminder of the risks of exposing too many of our children's most private moments on social media. As I read the information provided in the campaign, the words “vulnerable,” “pedophile,” and “predator” stung.
For the first time, I asked myself: Why share? Who are these photos for? And more importantly, who will they reach? Once these photos are posted online, it's nearly impossible to fully recall them (especially considering screenshots and screen recording capabilities are built into modern technology).
I often think of families who share their entire lives online on social media and use their children to garner clicks – do they realise they are inadvertently putting their children at risk?
As my son was growing up, I asked myself, would I be comfortable with sharing his photos? Was I violating his privacy before he even knew it? By publishing his photos online, I was automatically creating a chain of data linked to him, indirectly building his digital footprint. And I didn't fully understand the implications. As technology evolves, who knows how his personal data will be used?
Growing up in the 90s, my parents used point and shoot cameras and sent their film to Boots for processing, so my precious baby photos were safely tucked away in a collection of photo albums somewhere in my parents' garage. That's the way it was meant to be. I never experienced my childhood photos being shared online, so I never had to deal with the consequences. Everything was a lot more private back then, and I want the same for my son.
So I removed all photos of my son from social media. I no longer consent to his school or sports club taking photos of him for online marketing purposes. I also told his family not to post photos of him on their social media accounts. Instead, he now shares fun moments directly with his close friends and family through private messages, which is more personal and safer.
Being a parent is a matter of pride and at the same time protecting your children from unnecessary risks. Exposing your children to an audience of strangers is not worth the likes and attention.
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Hannah Nouko is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Business Insider, Parents, Romper, and HelloGiggles.