Two weeks ago, I was notified that one of the lesions on my brain was growing, which led me and my care team to decide it was time to make a change in my multiple sclerosis (MS) treatment.
Shortly after being diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2017, I was prescribed Copaxone (glatiramer acetate injection), but I quickly realized that the three-times-weekly injection schedule didn't work with my lifestyle as a high school senior. A few months later, my neurologist at the time switched me to Gilenya (fingolimod), and apart from one relapse in 2019, my condition has remained stable for years.
Fast forward to the present: I will be switching to Kesimpta (ofatumumab) within the next few weeks after a recent MRI showed mild progression of my MS.
My current reality
A week before my MRI I began to suffer from depression, I believe this was due to a voice in the back of my head and a gut feeling that told me something bad was about to happen.
During this time, I had almost no appetite and any food I ate made me extremely nauseous. I also slept a lot more than I had in the previous months. My productivity at work and school slowly began to decline and I didn't know why. However, when I received the results of my scan, it all started to make sense.
Since I found out my MS is progressing, my depression has gotten worse. This past week I've been staying up late and napping throughout the day, which is not like me. I also watched my favorite chill show, “New Girl,” in its entirety a couple of times, which I haven't done in a while. I usually get up early in the morning to work or clean, but lately I just don't have the motivation or energy.
I was having a conversation with my partner the other day and I realized I'm suffering from depression. And that's totally okay. I'm a human being with feelings after all, and right now I'm filled with fear. I constantly tell myself that I don't have to be strong all the time and that it doesn't diminish me as a person.
I just feel blessed to have such an amazing support system by my side during these difficult times. Most of my family lives in San Antonio, Texas, but they are too far away and too busy to come visit me in Austin. I am also incredibly grateful to have a loving, caring partner who goes above and beyond for me. He is my second home, and the dark days aren't so scary.
Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is a website that provides news and information about the disease only. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read on this website. Opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion on issues relating to multiple sclerosis.