It is up to the user to decide.
Let's be honest: dating in 2024 sucks. It's the sad truth: Gone are the days of cute movie dates, romantic dining experiences, and surprise flowers.
Chivalry and romance are truly dead.
The lack of a romantic interest corroded my hopeless romantic feelings, and article after article appeared. When it comes to dating as a transgender person, it's hard not to laugh to hold back the tears. Despite my profile screaming “trans and proud,” there have been countless times when I've had to constantly explain or confirm my trans identity, or when flirting has turned into explicit sexting after a match has acknowledged my identity, or worse, when my “hello” has been met with a penis pic or a guy bending over to show me his penis. Vast Brown eyes.
Navigating a dating app can sometimes feel like walking through a landmine in the dark while drunk and in high heels.
If it's not fetishism, then it's the fear of being on someone's “trial period” and finding out who they are. And it's excruciating to find a man's internalized phobia of dating a trans woman, even if they seem much happier at first. I refuse to settle for someone who prefers to be loved at night and hates holding hands during the day.
So why do I insist on keeping these apps on my phone? For better or worse, a part of me remains a hopeless romantic. I've seen two friends find their significant other on a dating app, one of whom ended up marrying someone they met on an app. And there's a value in apps that fulfill my cravings.
I'm not talking about sex.
I've been living alone in an apartment for almost 20 years. At the same time, I've never been good with my hands and learned how to assemble things. I don't even own a Phillips head screwdriver or a tool kit. It's embarrassing to be this old and not know how to be a handyman.
But what else are dating apps for?
Thanks to the generosity of Tinder and Bumble, we've been fitted out with a sofa, entertainment unit, bed, two dining chairs and, most recently, a TV. As I swipe through the profiles, I see guys casually showing off their dexterity. A cute construction worker in a hard hat flashing a killer smile with a thumbs up. Suburbanites proudly showing off their latest gadget. And the guys holding a fish in their photos are usually the wittiest.
Like romance, this is not for the faint of heart. I have been constantly updating you on how to check out the man who walks into your house. Firstly, a picture is worth a thousand words. It's 2024, so you don't need to have pixelated photos on your profile. Spend a few days talking to the guy. App onlyIf they rush to add you on Snapchat or send you a text message, stay away because it comes across as too desperate, no matter how tempting their words. Finally, I'm an iPhone guy, so I don't condone making fun of friends with green text bubbles, but I do get a secret satisfaction when I see blue text bubbles.
Again, I wouldn't recommend this to everyone. I'm lucky to live in an apartment building where all entrances require a key card/fob to access the elevator, and my dog, Bella, is as wild as she is friendly with men.
A daughter who resembles her mother.
And what happens in the end? Hmm… it depends. I give in to temptation sometimes. What can I say? I have a weakness for men who know how to use power tools. And just like any other date, sex isn't necessarily guaranteed at the end of the night.
Sometimes a kiss on the cheek is the most sincere way of paying, and yet it's still romantic.
Then again, there's still a little bit of hopeless romantic in my heart that hopes for a happily ever after and that I'll one day find a man who can put together a new couch and mend my broken heart. Until then, I'll enjoy the fruits of their labor, snuggle with my dog, binge on the latest season of a new show, and be happy knowing that I didn't give in to a clumsy guy this round and saved up some money for a night out.
Who needs Thumbtack when you can have Tinder?
Marie Adelina de La Ferriere I'm a community editor at equalpride, the publisher of Out.
voice is dedicated to featuring a variety of inspiring personal stories and influential voices from the LGBTQ+ and allied community. For more information on submission guidelines, visit out.com/submit. We welcome your comments and feedback on stories. Email us at voices@equalpride.com. Opinions expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists and editors and do not directly represent the views of Out or our parent company, equalpride.