Dear Amy: I retired from active ministry several years ago.
When I entered parish work, I looked forward to having a pastoral presence in the events around me. It has a very good reputation in this field. However, looking back, I’m really glad I didn’t have to get involved in the conflict that took place behind the scenes at the funeral.
At my first funeral, I represented a colleague who had taken an extended leave of absence. At the cemetery, a health care provider suddenly lashes out at an elderly widow, calling her a lack of consideration for her wife. Fortunately, my previous Navy career (I’m a combat veteran) gave me experience dealing with difficult people.
I then called the doctor who hired this person.
A few days later, my widow and I received an apology.
After over 21 years of service, I can sadly say that I can count the number of “good funerals” on one hand.
After reading your latest column, I realized how much of a relief it was to no longer have to “get ready” for what was supposed to be a celebration of life.
– Retired Clergyman
Dear Retirees: Funerals are extremely stressful events. I give credit to the clergy and funeral directors who work so hard to keep the peace.
Email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter. @askingamy Or Facebook.
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