WWhat started as a ‘meet’ on a dating app and a secret rendezvous for Jaipur-based Dushyant Sharma turned into a real-life horror story for his family. In the 2018 crime, Dushyant was brutally murdered by Priya Seth, her partner and a third accomplice after extorting money. At the time he was 28 years old, married, had children, and had a steady job as his manager of marketing at a sandstone company.
But on Tinder, Dushyant posed as a wealthy businessman from Delhi. The brand describes itself as “the world’s most popular dating app and the place to meet new people,” with “55 billion matches made to date.” It is said that On May 2, 2018, Dushyant rode his scooter to Seth’s rented accommodation and agreed to meet him there. The two had been in contact for about two weeks, according to call details.
A few hours later, he called his father Rameshwar Sharma and begged him to transfer Rs 1 million into his account. “He seemed panicked. The phone was quickly snatched by a woman (Seth) who, after a series of abusive comments, threatened to kill her son if he didn’t send her money. “I did,” Rameshwar said. He transferred his 300,000 rupees and that was all he had. The next day, he was called to identify his son’s body, which was stuffed into a purple suitcase and left in a deserted area on the outskirts of Jaipur. Rameshwar still doesn’t understand how his son ended up using dating apps. “He was a quiet boy. He only had a few friends,” he says.
Dushyant was one of the many victims of Seth’s financial scams. “She, along with her two accomplices, had planned to trap a wealthy man and hold him hostage, demanding a large ransom. In this case, they ultimately killed him,” the investigator said. Jaipur station officer Bhupender Singh said: She said Seth had a history of meeting men under the guise of running an escort service and extorting money from her under the guise of her presence. All three were sentenced to life imprisonment on November 24 this year.
In the years since the crime, some things have changed. While police initially had no idea about the techno-social nuances of dating in Indian metros, or the potential fallout, they are now focusing primarily on international dating by approaching representatives from each country. Understand how to collect data from your app. Some dating app companies have mechanisms in place to store and track data from India.
In 2018, police conducted their investigation through evidence at the scene rather than online “footprints.” “We learned that they had met on Tinder when Priya Seth confessed during interrogation,” Singh says. Police were unable to locate a Tinder “node officer” in India at the time.
According to Statista, which compiles statistics and reports, 70% of dating app usage takes place in India’s largest cities. In Delhi, there have been 19 cases of sexual assault in which women met their alleged perpetrators through these apps (from January to October 2023).
Delhi Police’s Cyber Crime Unit says each unit receives three to four calls per week alleging financial scams on dating apps in at least three of the city’s 15 police precincts. There is. Mostly from men. However, the number of people who register financial crimes through dating apps is likely to be lower than the total number of people who become victims of fraud.
Nirali Bhatia, a cyberpsychologist based in Mumbai who spends most of her working time counseling people who have been deceived or assaulted online, says: . But when they say they lost money because of someone they had a sexual or romantic relationship with, there is criticism and ridicule. This particularly discourages men from sharing stories of deception as it does not align with society’s concept of masculinity. ”
emotional deception
Rachita Agarwal (name changed to protect privacy), 35, has a well-paid and busy corporate job. She lives alone, and she felt particularly vulnerable during Delhi’s cold, damp winter earlier this year after falling out with some of her closest female friends. Grief from her past emotionally unavailable partners, exhaustion from her job, and loneliness from her single life led Ms. Agarwal to download her Bumble one night. “The idea was to go beyond mutual friendships and find someone with whom I could share a meaningful relationship,” she says.
Dating apps have grown in popularity over the past decade. Users upload their profiles, and the app’s algorithm suggests potential matches based on preferences such as age and interests. A quick swipe to the left indicates you’re not interested in the profile. A right swipe is an expression of interest. Matched “couples” can chat on the app, exchange phone numbers, and meet in person, but if either partner does not wish to continue, they can “unmatch”.
Agarwal swiped right on several profiles that she felt looked “decent” and “nice,” matched her urban sensibilities, and shared social and cultural capital. She recalls matching with Noida resident Rajat Nagpal (name changed) and seeing his photo with his dog made her imagine he had empathy. . In her first conversation, Nagpal charmed Agarwal. “He’s a very detail-oriented person, and he listened carefully and followed up later,” she says. Within a few weeks, he developed an emotional connection with Agarwal and she became dependent on him to some extent.
Over drinks, food and games, Nagpal shared stories of growing up with his paternal uncles, aunts and cousins in Madhya Pradesh. He frequently answered calls from his family in Agarwal’s presence. “He also recalled stories of his various assignments as a merchant marine officer,” she recalls. His work-from-home schedule was a red flag, but when Agarwal asked about working on a ship, he had an excuse ready.
After months of misunderstandings and quarrels, Nagpal tries to reconcile, telling Agarwal that his name is not Rajat and that he is actually a salesman. Additionally, he lived apart from his parents because his father was abusive, and after being rejected by his ex-girlfriend’s father because he wasn’t a naval officer, he used his story and identity to make a lot of noise on dating apps. He added that he had been deceiving women. 2 to 3 years.
Agarwal said he felt like a fool. But a few weeks later, Nagpal contacted me again. “I was moving and he knew I was very nervous about the process, so he asked if he could help,” she said. remember. she agreed. They were together at her home with her boxes of belongings when her phone screen lit up and Nagpal saw a notification from her dating app. “He threw a tantrum and started shouting at me. He took my phone, pushed me against the wall and forcibly unlocked it. I fractured my joint,” said an agitated Agarwal.
For the next 15-20 minutes, he walked around the room and read all the texts on the dating app. “He then typed his name and other keywords into WhatsApp search and read everything that was said about him,” she added. “At that moment, there was no help. They confiscated my cell phone so I couldn’t make a phone call, the house was packed so I couldn’t get anything to hit, and I was on vacation so I couldn’t call the manager.” says Agarwal anxiously. From thinking about the incident.
All she had with her was a knife from the kitchen, which she placed under her pillow. The next morning, despite his apology, she decides to have nothing to do with him. “So I booked a taxi, dropped him off at the hospital, and headed to my new apartment,” she says. She didn’t think to call the police. “All I wanted was to get him out of my life. During the taxi ride, I tried to process what had just happened, but my mind couldn’t process anything. “I did,” she added.
fall out
Bhatia says Agarwal’s ordeal is not unique. “Romance fraud cases rely on social engineering, where perpetrators find favorable characteristics to forge a deeper emotional connection with their victims. They become dependent on attention and validation to further facilitate deception,” she said, adding that there may be few red flags for repeat offenders.
It took months for Agarwal to open up and share his ordeal with close friends. “If you are deceived by a partner you met through a mutual friend, the responsibility lies with the deceiver. But if you are deceived by someone online, the responsibility lies with the victim,” says For Digital Rights of Women and Gays. says Vishaka Dutta, a filmmaker, activist, and journalist who co-founded the advocacy group Points of View. She feels that while there are risks and joys in both physical and digital spaces, there are more stigmas associated with online engagement. This allows abusers to commit mental, physical, and financial fraud on these apps for years. Last month, the World Health Organization declared loneliness a global public health threat.
Although Agarwal’s friends did not make fun of her, she felt embarrassed. It was out of the question for her to tell her family about her experience. Her family had no idea she was using the app. Now, when she goes on a date, she only half-jokes and asks for an Aadhaar card from the man. However, Dutta says: “Navigating a dating app is like walking down a busy street. It’s always possible to expect fraud, deception, and abuse, and then gaslight yourself even more when you see it coming. It’s not there, and it’s not desirable.”
Adding to the list of vulnerabilities for people on dating apps is that queer and married men are more likely to be targets of sextortion than single people. Apps like Gleeden and Ashley Madison that claim to be extramarital dating sites can put many people at risk. While many cisgender people hide their identities motivated by fraud or deceit, queer people sometimes change their identities to protect themselves.
Rajesh Deo, deputy commissioner of police (southeast Delhi), said a group of four men were arrested in May this year for sextorting gay men on the gay dating app Grindr in the city. said. “The group invited them to a secluded area where other gang members were waiting,” Deo said. “They were confident that gay men would not go to the police, so the gang filmed them in dangerous positions and threatened to expose their sexuality unless they paid,” he says. .
Dating apps also respond
Despite these crimes, people who use dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble are unanimous that they receive no feedback from companies about the actions taken after reporting an alleged abuser’s profile. He states that he was unable to do so. However, a Bumble spokesperson said that if someone does not match the suspected perpetrator and reports it, their conversation will be saved if the victim chooses to file a complaint with police. .
The Delhi Police’s cyber wing says that if the perpetrator is “disproportionate” to the victim and leaves no trace of their presence in their lives, especially if they have not exchanged phone numbers or social media handles, It has announced that it will issue legal notices to dating apps to expose them. Chat history. “If data is not available, we trace CCTV footage and other physical clues to find the culprits,” says a senior police officer.
An anonymous Bumble spokesperson said that if the company “receives a report of sexual assault,” it “blocks the party and stores data associated with the account” so it can “respond to valid legal claims.” said. The company did not explain what legal claims might be invalidated.
A Tinder spokesperson said Match Group, the U.S. parent company that owns a number of dating sites including OkCupid and Hinge, created the portal to respond to requests for information from law enforcement. These calculated email responses have no names or faces to blame, and are eerily similar to bot-like in-app feedback when people report crimes or fraudulent activity.
Bumble and Tinder did not respond to pointed questions from hinduism Things like how many users there are in India, how many profiles have been reported within the app, or which state or city in the country has the most reported profiles.
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